The Weekly Call: Bereshis/Noach 5771 – What About Me?
October 7, 2010
My apologies, but I’m still stuck in Bereishis.
Really stuck.
I don’t really understand the natural impulse to bring a sacrifice to God. I can’t imagine burning vegetation or an animal as an offering.
But somehow Cain had this idea.
So he brought an offering from the fruit of the ground. And not the best stuff either.
Hevel picks up on the idea, improves upon it, and brings an animal sacrifice that’s the best he has.
God turns to Hevel and to his offering and God does not turn to Cain and his offering.
Cain gets angry and depressed.
Right now, this story is hitting home deeply.
To protect the innocent, I’m going to stay a bit vague.
I have this idea.
Other people pick up on it and start doing it and even improving on it.
I get into this story that they’re going to get all the credit, as in, “God is going to turn to them.”
When I’m in this story, I’m also feeling angry.
So God asks Cain; what’s the problem?
If you do it better next time you will be elevated.
A high position awaits you according to the Sforno.
If you don’t improve yourself, sin crouches at your door.
Which could mean the sin of doing it wrong in the first place, or it could mean the sin of despairing because of the simple mistake.
I have to go with the second interpretation.
When I’m in my story and not very conscious, I get into; I should have done it better. Why didn’t I do it right? What’s wrong with me?
And not only that, but now the light is shining on someone else and poor me, I’m sitting all alone in the dark.
And yeah I want to kill the guy, who in my mind is doing it better.
So what if old Cain and I took God’s advice?
What are you getting all crazy about? Fix it. Do it better next time.
Drop the story. Drop all the drama. And learn from your mistake.
And not only that, you will be elevated.
Becoming jealous of a brother because he’ll get all of “father’s” attention is a big note in the Torah and it seems a primal note in life.
And I think it takes us until Aaron’s relationship with Moshe to get it right.
The older brother Aaron was truly happy for Moshe’s success.
According to Rabbi Nachman, that was the reason behind our redemption from Egypt.
To be stuck in a story that generates anger and depression is slavery.
To be free of internal jealousy might just be the mechanism for physical freedom.
God almost sounds naive when he asks Cain; why are you angry and depressed?
Of course God would know we get into stuff like that.
But maybe that is the way to look at it.
From a place of simplicity;
Getting angry and depressed doesn’t make any sense, just learn the lesson and move on.
Have a great Shabbos,
Simcha
